22 Oct.

20 days since i last blog. lol.
Think i've lost all the blogging enthusiasm.
Anyways, let get to topic.

22Oct is the start of my retake O-level exams.
Which is, tml? hahahas.

A-math paper 1
1400 hours at Riverside Secondary.
Now going back and do my last moments of revision.
Chal people.

It doesn't really matter much anymore.

Finally.

Hey All! sorry i left my blog dead for so long, i kinda lend it to someone and only gotten it back just recently after 2 weeks.. 4 days ago. =x O'okays, i was lazy to update. =/ hahahas. Dunno if my blogging language have changed or not, oh wells i don't think you guys know what i am talking about to begin with. Nevermind, lets get to topics! Had so much i want to blog over the weeks, don't think i'll remember everything and blog about everything also. hahaha.

topics to cover.

my finally establised wishlist, coping with shortage of $$$, health worsening, my upcoming new enrolment back into polytechnic, pictures of memories, current passion, and a incident when i remembered i nearly drowned...
Gosh there's just too many i wanted to talk about when i view a slideshow of the pictures that was taken i class when i was in poly 2 years ago. sighs. Life of a dropout, now i understand what's its like. i will start cherishing my education in polytechnic once i get in. =) onwards!

topic no. 1: "renewed life".
The days are coming, and i will soon have to embrace these days to come.. the life that i've been trying to get back for 2 years. its already the month of October, and my Exams starts on the 22th Oct. its getting ever closer each day, and so far i don't think my current standards will get me a better grade than what i gotten 2 years ago from my O's. i'm gonna start mugging already, and it shall begin with this very day. After i wake up later(3rd Oct), i shall start my studying till my end of my exams in november 7th, period. strictly no more fun and games, this is where i will concentrate into.

Soon, the days of enrolment will come. Deep inside i'm honestly feeling very uneasy. think i mentioned this before, as i enrol back into SP, i'll find all the year 3 students are people who were my classmates. To be truthful, i don't know how to face them. By then it would be seeing them for the first time for 2years, and that goes for the lecturers. these are all my worries and many more yet unspoken. =/ prehaps i'll share it another day. i've said enough for today.

failing Health.
i think this will be my last topic for now, hahas just bear with me. Recently i don't know what's happening. its like my cough never gets better. i've been in cough for weeks every since that last time i've gotten flu, last satuday. I just cough when the air isn't clean, throat iches, warm weather, everything. i seriously can feel my health failing, like its slowly falling apart. i just pray it doesn't affect my studies, i wish not to get sudden mood swings, it makes me miss out an important effort that i want to put in to change my entire life. Call me "thinking to much", but its just what i feel. i've seen how fatal "don't want to study" attitude can be, and i really hope i won't become so. i shall work hard for this! =)

Now, 6.21am.
hahas. my current health only allows me to update this much. lol, i sound so like a dying person today. hahas. oh wells, sunday is coming soon and i can't wait to get my old guitar fixed. i so miss the sounds of acoustic. Pray i'll get my studying mindset later. =)

lol. i just had a sudden thought of hearing 'Ganbette' from someone. well, doesn't matter, it'll never get to my gan mei anyways. hahahas. oh what am i saying. =/ must be lack of sleep.
Good nights People!

Sublimation for life,
till the day i turn pure.

exams.

are today!
6hours and 30min to go! and i only got to know this yesterday before going to cell group. sighs. just pray i'll do my best no matter what happens. Been 2 years since i last took O's.
.
This gotta bring back all those memories. =P
Time to sleep now!

Now, 1:33am.
Day of A-math paper 2, mock exams.
Ps: i forgot to post up the song, hahas.
Here it is. enjoy! chal.

All i have.

--
Lyrics:
What have I in this life.
But the love in Your eyes.
This empty world will one day fade.
Only Your truth will remain.
--
chorus:
Jesus, all I have is You
You're the hope I'm holding to.
I might weep but still my faith
Rests in You.
--
As the heavens hold the skies
It's Your hand that holds my life.
And Your love will lead me on
When all else is gone.

passion.

hey. Here to update my blog. Well actually...just wanna take a break for a while. hahas. Been practicing guitar the whole noon like the last few days. hahas.

songs.
Trying to learn a few worship songs i love. (oh i love music by the way) so far i've only grasp the song "all i have". i'll post the song below if you're interested to listen. So far i still can't get the "c" note perfectly. =/ practice my boy, keep on practicing.

progress.
But at least by practicing this song i've manged to learn how to sing and play together. hahas. Took me a month to learn to play an acoustic guitar. So far can manage a few simple songs for now. Now trying to learn "Becasue of your love". Used to be Glory joy's youth camp 06/07 theme song. Got some help by trying to learn online, "www.leadworship.com", with Paul baloche couching by video. Well good thing is i can pause the video whenever i want and can replay no matter how many times. lol.

question.
One thing is that i finally got to learn music. it has always been my secondary school wish to learn music. hahahas. However one problem about any passions you have, is how long it last. i just hope it'll stay that way forever, because i can't imagine losing my sense of hearing. Random example anyways, hehes. Hope i don't get caught to be guitarist though, haha. i still don't know how to face the crowd. hahas.

prayer.
Anyways i heared the good news today! Finally the prayers has been answered. =) Non the less i will keep on praying, for there's so much more to be answred. Remember to stay strong.
=) You'll always be in my prayers.

Now. 11.32pm.
Time to get back to my guitar practice! er, but its already near mid-night. =/ think junn's already asleep by now. Oh, she's a maid in my house, under training by my mom to take care of my grandmother. junn's learning from my mom because my mom knows my grandma best. =) think i can't practice in this house.. everyone's sleeping everywhere. lol.

tonight & tml.
will be sleeping in my living room cause my bed been dismantled to move to the bedok apartment for my aunt's use this sunday. dismantled earlier so they can mve in the morning then. hahas, i'm used to sleeping on floors anyways, lol.

tml's plan.
Guess i'll spent the night practicing or just going to sleep. tml going over to 589a to settle some things before the GB go have their camp there. Then after i dunno if i'm going to go attend a sister's church for the celebration. seriously i think it really sounds like a personal invitation..

oh well.
i'll just behave. LOL not that i am one. ah, don't care to explain myself to muna they all ler. lol. never seen them for 2 years and they called me a pervert for no reason. ah but its nice to meet up with them again anyways. hahas. oh post getting longer and longer. ending it here.
nights people! =)

"though it may not seem that way,"
"i pray i'll release my shackles one day."

the month to step.

hey. yeah i know, took me long to update myself here, hahas. i already don't have the habit to go online anymore.. perhaps its just me having a little change in my lifestyle.

sublimation.
Well to begin with some things are not the same anymore, not quite used to it yet, will take some time to cope. hmmm. just got reminded of the promise i've made myself, hahas. its just so sudden. perhaps its a hard road i'm taking. =/ i dunno. Guess i'll just
keep on waiting.

updates.
hmmm. a little update to the start of September, this month is my mugging month to at least finish up my whole a-math 10-years series. not sure i i'll able to do all the chapters but i hope i'll be able to do my best. this also means from this day onward i will only restrict myself to only a day a week, 2 hours of psp. other than that its only my mp3 player. its going to be a horrible month for me, cause i've never tried anything like this before, pray tat i have the discipline for this. =)

Next month will be my O's.
hmmm. To be real honest, i'm rather feeling uneasy. don't know if i ever mention about it before but i'll talk it out here now.

hmmm. i'm quite worried
if i'll able to mix in class every again.
In my life i've been through a series of smooth transition in my schooling years. up until now. A sudden pause of 2 years, because my application failed the first time and now i'm taking my O's to have a confirmed seat in the JAE application to get into Poly/JC. for 2 years i've not experienced the life of being in a classroom. Though it sounds simple, but its hard for me to open up once more. i keep failed my classmates before. i have that fear that it might happen again. I don't know if i can work in a group as well as 2 years ago. sighs, who could understand my pain? hahas.

Another thing is my age,
i'm not sure if i want to keep telling my classmates everything i've been through. Oh wells, if they asked i guess i'll just keep answering them one by one. But surely i really need a short and sweet story to summarise everything. =/ hahas, how does "i'm 2 years older because i withdrew in my first year and failed the application to re-enter. 2nd year is the year where i took my application to get into this class." LOL.

hmmm. a step at a time i guess.
hahas. why is it so cold every night?

oh well. Post shall end here. hahaha sorry yi jun, i still couldn't find any pictures to post yet. see how la, i'm not a guy who take a picture of himself everyday. lol. Anyways wishing you fun in your trip. =) hehes.
Nights people! =)

i'll do whatever it takes,
to turn it around.

August rush.

hello people. hahas. Well to begin with, i think for now my mood is a little stablised i guess. I guess i didn't much mention to you all how i was feeling right? lets.

a pack.
oh wells. i must learn how to walk on my own. perhaps its because i've been missing the classroom environment for so long, thats why i've lost my old self. i'm not as open as before and i've been trying to be independent ever since i made the decision to withdraw.

road.
Honestly its never been a smooth journey ever since. i have to admit that this had to be the period of my life which i had experienced the worst. Everything turned all so messy and loose, i'm changing for the worse.

prayer:
"Pray that one day may i learn to be strong, because i can't go weak in my knees anymore. No one ever comes by at my darkest moments. Perhaps i've never realised so, but i don't want to be so weak in faith anymore. Today, i will pick myself up and move on. This is my prayer and it shall stay, forever more."

Today.
rest at home through noon. Left the house by 4.30pm to go sunplaza mac to study. dunno about you, but i find it ok to just sit down and study. lol. i've never done so in my entire life till i made that decision. well, took me12 years to finally pick up a book to study, hahas. =P

sit there and studied for like an hour then yeenern joined me. then after some time joleen and nydia came over. run some errands then sat down again to study. they hanged arounf for awhile then after they left. not their fault, but i chose to stay and continue my studies.

Then from that moment then on i think i just sat there for 5 hours and study. lol. only managed to recap what i learned a couple of months back, the chapter about differentiation. Not facing any problems at the moment but i feel that i'm kinda not studying fast enough. =/

this coming thursday will be my last lesson in Private school already, and my teacher is going to cover 3 chapters at one shot. wow for her man. hahas. well it can't be helped, i'm lagging behind already. still got 2 more chapters to go and i only just done the first few pages only. time to mug. hahahas. i never thought i'll ever use that word. =x

Now, 2:18am.
hmmm. at the moment, i'm in need to sleep and its already 2 am. lol. oh gosh, forgot to check whether there's anyone in sembawang sec' to withdraw the key to BB room. sighs. its going to be a mystery if i ever realise i'd wasted my morning there. hahas. nvm i shall have faith! lol. hmm, time to sleep anyways, dunno when i'll wake up either. hope i can in the morning. =/ oh well.
Good night all. =)

i might weep.
But my fauth still rest in you.

Tired.

Hey people! 2 days since i last blogged. Hmmm, here to update a few things and stuff. let start with today!

23Aug, 1:42am.
lol. i know i know. hahas. then some more tml parade in the morning i still haven't bath. Gosh. need to wake up at 6am, i'm so real tired. the day 2 hours ago was so tiring! i'm glad i get finally lie down and rest.

Hour ago.
Hmmm, an hour ago i asked a question i know i shouldn't be asked. =( i don't know, i also get those lonely moments when i needed company like everyone else. Who would want to understand a heart like mine? who would be so kind to be someone like 'me', to help me? hahahas. i think i should not let myself be so brittle. i need to move on.

The fatigue, yesterday.
i'm so tired! i don't know whats happening to me, but i just couldn't get a fulfil good night sleep anymore. its like no matter how i sleep i just won't wake up feeling so awesome or whatsoever. LOL. i dunno how long never expecrienced that feeling le. =(
oh wells, who cares? hahas.

Now, 1:59am.
Wah! i seriously cannot continue any longer. i see if i can post after everything tml afternoon. i seriously need to catch some sleep to 6am liao.

Good nights People !!
what have i, in this life?