breeze. =)

Church event:
__just got back from the Captain Frisby + Picnic event organised by the church.. got home late because i chose not to go home home early like the others. the event was conducted near a sea side., and since its been a long time i last visit the somewhere to relax, i thought of going there to enjoy the breeze. =)

__sad thing is that i didn't bring anything out to draw. LOL. hahas.

__i went over to those man-made rock walls leveled above the sea, so i can be closer to the sea and not get wet. hehes. the breeze was wonderful. sat there for a few enjoyable hours. =P

past.
__then memories start coming back.. those happy times... those sad moments. But i know its all the past, and it won't affect the now me. a lot of things has changed. Never have i thought i'll end up where i am. hahas. but i will never say i've wasted my life, because i've learned to see beautiful things that sometimes we all overlooked. =)

__i'm contented with what i am now, but i know i can do better. i believe He has a plan for me, so i'll keep walking forward, never looking back. what matters is what i have now, so i will learn to cherish.

Dream.
__As i was sitting there i thought of the dream i met yesterday. in the dream i was happily in love. hahas. sound very weird i know, but its the truth. we hold hands, spend time together like going to places together, enjoying time together. i saw her face.. i know who she was. hahas.

__But i don't know if its a sign for me, like those people in the bible who tell future by dreams. hahas. maybe its just a little prank my mind made because it wants to go for a holiday. hahahas. but, i know i was happy in the dream. i even woke up smiling. hahas. silly me.

__Perhaps i' thinking too much already. but one thing is for sure, this incident has loosen the knot in my heart. the Knot was there in the first place not because i have mixed feelings for anyone, but i tied it there myself because i didn't want to risk venturing into somewhere that i don't wanna be. but now, its a little loosen down. hahas. sorry people, i just like to talk in riddles. hahas. practicing my literature. hahahas.

encouragement.
__After all that thinking i saw a kite, way up in the sky. it was so fly, as if it could touch a plane. a small fiddle kite could soar so high up in the sky... really shows me how much perseverance it has. =)
i must work hard! hahas.

__Got up(ps: i was lying down relaxing) to see the sunset.. oh the crimson skies.. was so beautiful. but sad la, didn't manage to get any good shots, everything ended so fast. =/ already posted in my friendster under "Album." go see if you want. =P

journey home.
__Got up and finally left the place for home. the trip was lonely, but lucky i got my psp. hahas. halfway journey sms my college whether she has cell this coming friday, end up i 'tio the question again. =x i don't know i must answer how many times. hahas. but i just can't say, sorry. =(

present time: 2:05pm, 30/4.
actually this post i only today then post de, just that i started blogging about it that day itself, but was too tired to post. hahas. thats why shows 27/4. lol.
will update tonight again. have to go prepare to go out to meet jun xian to study le. hope i didn't forget my a-math foundation. hahas.
take cares all!


"Though it may seem,"
"i'm telling a lot of stories."
"But i never lied to you. =) "

moving on.

situation.
i guess i finally realised i'm really thinking too much, things didn't happened the way i expected. Its kinda hard to explain.

its like.. you part of you wants things this way, but then you still know yourself that you're just not ready to venture on, and deeper inside, you know you have to stop. its kinda hard to make the decision to go against yourself.. against what you want.

but i thank God i prayed long and hard, and finally i stopped. i know i might be missing a chance of a lifetime, but... but i'm just not ready. i know i'm not, God knows i'm not. Only can blame on myself why i learned this lesson only now.

"i took the harder route, but it'll be for the greater good."

"Cheer up!" lols.
"Your time will come."
"if not, "
"you'll still be loved,"
"by him up there." =))

Updated my friendster profile. Lots of emo pictures though, but has nothing to do with my mood now. LOL. people i shall be cheerful no matter what. hahas. even if my left arm is going to be handicapped permanently, i will still hold up my smile. hahas. =)) but still i pray its not la. hahas.
Anyways do visit. hahas. i look better when i'm serious. hahas.
http://profiles.friendster.com/keet13thbbcompany

Sorry people, only able upload the "album" section.. tsk. will post again to inform that the photos have been uploaded. =/ oh, joleen chew, the photo that you want might be inside also. hahahas. see first la huh, no promises made. lol.

its late.. 3am. tml got church and i'm the usher.. lol. pray i can wake up at 8 tml. i wear my usher attire very auntie one. hahas. time passes slow sometimes, maybe we just have to find another pocket of love to put in. There are lots of beautiful things are out there, just that you don't see it. =)
Nights People!

Sometimes we don't know.
Actually you already did.
maybe you didn't know.

Donuts! =))

woot! found another entertaining place for me to eat.. 'Munchy Donuts' at the sembawang CC. xD just only got to know the place 3 days ago only and i'm loving that place already. hahas.

i tell you i eat donuts with style okays.. hahas. not like people eat so fast, a few bite then gone. lol. i treat my donuts like steak okays.. hahas.

Anyways the place is like so nice lo.. the lighting, the room, the colour.. gives this nice cozy feeling to enjoy donuts there.. Everythings nice except the seats. =/ should get those soft soft sofa.. confirm customers will come flying in. hahas. it'll be nice to spend my day there enjoying tea. =)

hmmm. rather tired today. Ate 'Munchy' today the 2nd time with joleen, yee tien and clement. hahas, used to miss those days we had fun together when i'm still in secondary school. lols. Clara Wong! you should join us! you the only one missing! hahas. xP

just finished playing with my brothers "monster hunter 2nd"... already 3am. must kick this bad habit le.. everytime so late sleep.. then some more after playing come here use laptop and blog.. lol. i'm going to get black eyes soon. 12 pieces of donuts still in my stomach digesting.. lol. the last time i had donut feast i had bad bowels. =/ pray that this time i don't.. better drink more water and eat lots of fruits. =P

hmm, nothing much to add on, just that beside me got one whole stack of files.. gosh. more billings to do. =(( oh and its not that i'm slow, its just that someone keep throwing me papers and questions. hahahas. just kidding. its my "honor" to been thrown those papers by someone... hahahahas. anyways start work in the afternoon, cause mom going to bring my grandma over to hospital.. pray that she's going to be okay. =/

okok enough laughing, i need to get some sleep.
i'm becoming more and more aware that i keep talking too freely or too much rubbishy things in my blog la. hahas. i don't know. i'm crazy. =))
Good Nights people!

"i guess becoming crazy is better;"
"than thinking so much after all. "

"At least i do not have to lament."

makansutra. xD (K.R.)

sorry people!

Was really quiet these fews days..
cause i've been thinking for days over something which i already know the answer to. hahas. silly me. its like you already know what you should do, yet you just stare at it with an empty heart. =/ just hope time really flies fast enough or bury me under lots of work. i just don't wanna think about it anymore. hahas. hope its not too emo'ish for you people? hahas. nvm. i know very little people view this blog anyways. doesn't matter. =P

Yes! at least i got something happy to yell about..
i finally finished EVERY form 32a for clement's and yee tien's Founder's man application.
=)) yeah... i finally no need to pull my hair out anymore.. hahas. a work load lessen, one less worry off my 'list'. =/

Woo! "Kenny Rogers Roasters" is a die-die must try!! instantly fall in-love with the food there! its kinda like western cuisine, share similarities with "Botak Jones". Just that instead of having unlimited fries, you get to pick 2 side dishes of your choice:

Side dishes:
COLD SIDES
Cole Slaw
Kenny Rogers Roasters coleslaw has a sweet and sour flavor with a crisp crunch of fresh cabbage and a hint of onion.

Tomato-Cucumber and Onion Salad
A fresh combination of marinated Italian dressing, tomatoes, green peppers, onions, and cucumbers.

Tri-Color Pasta Salad
Zesty Romano Cheese and Italian dressing added to pasta and crisp, fresh broccoli, peppers, carrots, and onion, make this a cold side favorite

Sour Cream and Dill Pasta Salad
A creamy combination of pasta with broccoli, cucumber, tomatoes, and dill dressing.

HOT SIDES Mashed Potatoes Freshly made creamy mashed potatoes served with a rich chicken gravy Garlic Potatoes Red new potatoes, cooked in savory garlic butter and parsley seasoning Herb Italian Green Beans Fresh green beans served with a combination of lite Italian seasonings. BBQ Baked Beans Tender beans simmered in a rich Honey-Bourbon BBQ Sauce. Peas and Carrots Sweet peas and carrots steamed to perfection. Creamy Parmesan Spinach Cooked spinach served in a savory Parmesan cheese sauce. Macaroni and Cheese *BEST!* (cheese lovers must try!) Rich cheddar cheese sauce covered over cork screw macaroni. Corn Niblets Tender, juicy corn niblets served in a rich butter sauce. Butternut Squash A sweet, baked, country dish of squash and light brown sugar; tastes like a sweet potato pie. Out of this world. Baked Sweet Potato A medium sized sweet tender potato baked fresh on premises. Grilled Vegetables Zucchini, squash, eggplant, grilled fresh. A healthy choice. Cornbread Stuffing A mouth watering stuffing made with freshy chopped celery, carrots and onions. Chicken Pot Pie A tasty blend of Kenny Rogers Roasters chicken and vegetables served in a bread boule.

SALADS All of our salads are made with fresh produce. We start with a combination of chopped Romaine & Iceberg lettuce, shredded Red Cabbage, and shredded Carrots. We then add additional ingredients to make a specific type of salad. Caesar Salad A fresh mix of the above with Julienne of Roasted white meat, home-style croutons, Romano Cheese, and Caesar dressing. Served with one corn muffin. Roasted Chicken Strip Salad A generous portion of fresh salad mix with Julienne of Roasted white meat added to the top. Served with a corn muffin. Perfect for a light meal. Side Salad A portion of our salad mix served as a side item. Served with a corn muffin. SOUPS Our soups are a great way to round out a meal. Always hot, fresh, and full of flavor. Chicken Noodle Soup, A classic Chicken Noodle Soup made with Roaster’s chicken. Soup of the day An offering that will change on a regular basis.

i brought the "1/4 chicken meal", got a plate of the wing and breast meat portion. i would say their recipe for their chicken is very unique.
the whole layer of the chicken is covered with lots & lots of pepper, glazed with honey and roasted to perfection. =P woo, talking about it makes me hungry again. hahas. this meal comes with 2 side dishes of your choice.
picked Sour Cream and Dill Pasta Salad + Macaroni and Cheese.

Oh i tell you cheese lovers, the "Macaroni and Cheese" was like heaven! its really thick cheesy stuff man! Never tasted such great cheese in my life! hahas. sorry poeple i'm just a cheese-maniac. hahas. =))

As for the other one think i picked wrong. =/ i didn't know can pick soup in the first place... hahas, now is like every meal i want to drink soup lo. never been like this before. hahas. anyways i will recommend you people to pick their salads, delicious. =))

oh its cost me $14.90 btw, however if you compare it to "Hooked!" its much cheaper. =P but sad thing is that there's not much outlets. the one i ate is at 'Great World City', which is the area i'll be at if i'm going BBHQ. woot!
i found another good reason to go down HQ.. muahahas. xD damn happy to know this restuarant lo. hahas. i' going mad. =P too bad there isn't anyone here to share the joy with me. =( its just werid you know, going crazy by yourself. it'll be more fun if everyone has the same crazy mindset. hahahas. x))
tsk-tsk. too bad i haven't found anyone who can go crazy with me. =P

hmm, now left the whole company's missing form 32a and my cell group identity windbreaker to do.. 3 things.. oh plus one more cell group outing coming up also.. this june.. planning pictionary or charades. hehes. =D will be competing with other cell group.. this will be fun! just hope the people there can also click with me.. =(

2:39am, finally switch back my time. =)
last time i can remember i slept at 7am lo. even saw my younger bro leave for school some more. lol. Going off to 'pig' ler!
Nights people!
Kenny Rogers rocks! xD

there's too much things that in my mind.
will i be able to find someone who can understands?

not again.

wah... sad la. end up still need to do form 32a again. i super wanna explode le. too bad i just don't show. =( went to do a checklist then to my horror to find out clement and yee tien's Founders application which they have already submitted was not complete.. still lack the proper signatures for the "Program badge(1-year-badge)" and 2 other more forms, "senior proficiency badge" & "Nco Star Award"..

craps. felt like a loser straight after enrollment, hais. somemore Founders application already closed, i don't know if i'm able to negotiate with the BBHQ or not. =/

i guess God wants me to learn a lesson about the importance of form 32a. i've never been so worried and freak out in my life la. o-levels was even a breeze compared to all those horros i've been through to get those forms replaced.

Went so low in spirits that i was the last to leave on BB side. i totally didn't feel like eating pizza hut with the officers and primers nor mac with the boys. i just wanted to spend my whole rest of the afternoon blasting my ears with music & thinking about nothing.

purposely missed the only bus outside Christ Church Sec 2 times. the 3rd time have to broad cause the GB was with me also waiting for the bus 901. Didn't want the GB girls to know i was being sad. lol. went to causeway to check the ticket for this coming monday. $6 for students before 6pm. that's cheap. =P


shock of the day: 3:15pm
hahas kena shocked after i got my information from the counter la, a man in a wheelchair asked me to help him up the steps to get into the cinema halls. i was totally like sotong like that. it was my first encount, hahas. willingly i went to help him. i was so damn 'Gong' la, i didn't help him push the wheelchair for him, instead i thought he was going to push it himself over to the steps first. lol.

i have little experience with handicaps, although i'm one myself now because of my arm. hahas. its recovering very slowly. =( but amazingly i didn't have to approach any surgery or twist back my arm or something. =x Anyways, i pushed him over to the foot of the steps, then i stunt there for a moment. i have no idea how am i going to get him up the steps. hahahas. xD plus i'm still having a weak left arm, =/

But thank God one of the personals saw the man, then he brought us round the back towards the storeroom than i can just push the wheel chair up a slope instead.

hahas then the person asked if i was watching the movie with him, told him i was just a passer-by helping him. lol. then i just turned back and left. Luckily i was wearing my cardigan over my BB full uniform, or else i think i would be an icon in the cinema then. hahas. went to take a bus home, but i was still feeling down. So end up sitting in the bus for a loop with a music in my ears. just so wanted to take a break from everything that moment... =(


frustrations of a quiet worker: 5:30pm-6:30pm
Anyways something interesting happened when i was traveling round in the bus. sorry readers but will not disclose the matter to you all. =P all i can tell you people is that, my mood is in a dilemma. I'm still worrying whether i'm going to cause Clement, Yee Tien and Eric not getting their founders cause of those missing form32a. =( Plus i don't know alot of things right now., how is it going to turn out or what. Everything is just so messy right now, i'm losing alot of my confidence already. Simply, i'm not ready. There's just too many stuff that has happened before that makes me fear of the next step i take. i don't know how the future is like for me. maybe i'm already thinking too much..hais..


the only happy/funny thing happened today: 9pm.
Got home to switch my laptop on and msn running, fell asleep instead. hahas. woke up to see the day turned into darkness already. lol. then slacked in front of my laptop till a friend called. hahas. chatted with her then my pal who lives next block came over to print some stuff. wahs, have to entertain 2 people at the same time.

End up i devoted my ears & mouth for my friend through the phone and my eyes and fingers for my pal by Msn, who was just right infront of me. hahas. xD End up i found out he just wanted to print his timetable from his poly website. wah.. i straight away narrow-eyes-screw-loose expression liao. told him he could just save in his laptop and refer from there what.. then my friend also become enthusiastic and started talking also, i said waste my ink then she added 'my a4 paper also'.

Then my pal started complaining about the inconvenience of not printing out while my friend who was on the phone start talking about shortage of trees resulting global warming. wahx.. i instantly faint. i can't even hear who's talking lol. somemore they both amazingly stop at the same time also. hahas. Made my day at least a bit happier. =)


present state: 3:48am.
i'm much more calmed now, thank God that Mr. eugene was not what i thought he would be. he was willing to help me sign the form 32a for the "Senior Proficiency Star". will be meeting him tml.. sad, tml movie was cancelled. was actually interested to watch 'Definitely, maybe'... oh well, might be going to watch "forbidden Kingdom" with my primary school pals instead. xD i so wanna watch it.

Still thinking alot about that issue which happened in the bus.. think i need time myself too. oh wells, we can always still stay as friends. =) i don't see a problem with that? opps, hahas. leak a bit le. nvm. that's all i'm going to say. xP

i'm also still praying that tml call to BBHQ will be a success.. i don't want to cause the 3 staff-sergeants not being able to get their Founders award... i'll rather sacrifice my chance of Presidents award just to let 3 of them have their Founders. =( hais.
Pray, pray, pray!
Good nights people. =))

i really want to ask my heart.
"how do you like someone?"

treatment.

ello people! didn't post yesterday cause i was freaking out the whole mid-night. =P

i just found out so many loop holes in the forms that i've done, yet still so many missing... i just hope i don't mess up the boy's founders.. =/
For now stable le, waiting for the *big day*, Enrolment service 2008. =x


message:
Gosh.. so many people low in their spirits today.. hmm. just too many to name also. think the best medicine is time and company; give yourself time to cool down and think calmly and try talking to someone you're close with to share your burdens.
Rushing into things might not be the best plan when you're unhappy, take things a step at a time. sometimes you just need a little break from all worries for just a tiny moment and you'll feel a lot better. take your mind off things that worry you! there are so many more beautiful things still waiting for you to discover them. Don't lose faith!
Friends are people we really take them for granted. when at times we don't need them they're always ignored by you, but only when you sad then you'll realise how precious they are. =) remember your friends and value them. you'll be surprised how they make you feel when you find out how much they really love you. =)
Friends! be proactive when you see your friends acting strange! you'll never know they need you as well. =x don't let life's blunders set you back from loving your dear beloved friends!

Cheers!
Dr. Keet, (social Noob'alist)
tel: 9225326x
(LoL.)


Okays.. now about myself... think i just do what i can myself bahx. i offer what i can. =) hehes. hmmm. tml going to sewbawang sec to pass a boy his uniform part, or else he cannot report in full-u this saturday.. plus this saturday is enrollment rehearsal le.. sunday will be actal thing! =x

Dunno whether i'll get promoted or not hahas. i doubt so. =x plus i don't want to get promoted either.. i've not been doing anything to get a promotion. =x opps, hahas. but.. now not the right time. giving me a promotion now will not reward me with anything, cause i haven't been doing anything fantastic either. lol. i don't mind being the only primer who's not promoted. hahas.

Sweet! arm getting better le. i can finally leave it down straight with ease! xD but now i'm having problem with bending it, the bicep still can't meet. =( oh wells, at least i can carry a few things in my left hand now, hahas. yesterday still can feel the ache when i carry stuff. lols.

Now at least i can finally sleep at a correct posture le, hahas. used to sleep with my left arm up, always smelling my armpit every night. hahas! just kidding. =P i'm odorless okays.. no matter how much sweat i drop. xP woo, getting late le. better sleep.. if not i become panda eye'ed next morning. hehes,
nights people. =))

we're all human, we'll forgive you. =)
Cheer ups people! =D

road to recovery. =)

hmmm. just read through what i read yesterday.. Not to say i was drunk yesterday! i will never wanna drink alcohol okay.. anyways, after reading through i find that..there are so many loop holes. =/

some things written there are not actually exact.. some things are left missing, i just come up to te right point. i guess there's just too any things to say. =/

oh wells, i'm gonna kiss this complaining habit goodbye! cause i feel that it might be better if i didn't think too much. hmmm. must be back to my old blur-blur self! hahas. at least i'll be callous to the bad stuff but hyper to the exciting parts. x)

a BIG SORRY to readers, i didn't mean to worry you all. i'll be more mindful about things i post here. =P (i'm thinking you all might call me crazy saying all these.. but hey, i call it hospitality. xP)

people i'm gonna recover from this sorry me! will avoid getting emo by occupying anything that makes me happy. =P its going to be a tough road.. but hey, no one said its easy. =P must cheer up! be *happy apple* !! lolx.

2.39am now, 11 hours later need to be in sembwang sec to help the boys prepare their anklet. scold me nothing better to do? well its really not a lie anyways. hahas. cause i haven't applied for the private schooling. =x woo, if the army got read blogs i'll be doomed. lol. kena fine because of a evidence used from the internet, hahas. xD

thursday nothing to do.. neither do i wanna stay at home. =/ think might be my first time jio people(jio = ask someone out)... lol. see first la. i also dunno what to do. oh yeah, this year got so many movies i wanna watch.. ironman.. forbidden kingdom... pandamonium.. the bucket list.. and many more that i can't just remember. =x anyone interested? hehes.

hmmm. this upcoming enrolment i think won't be falling into the parade. i can't march with my elbow like this. =/ oh wells. at least i still have it there, hahas. nights people. =)

CORINTHIANS 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind."
:so i humbly wait, yet for everyone,
i give a heart of gold. =)

Reveal.

updates!
ello people! 10 days since i last post.. never too late. xP hahas. just had a hair-cut. looks weird but think it'll be okay after a few weeks.. everything is short except my fring, side parted. not going to post any photos cause i think many people will vomit. xD hahas.
pray that you'll see me, or wish you'll rather not. lol


giving thanks.
Yeah! finally 13th company return me the money from the cakes i've been buying for the 3 months birthday babies. $105.40. a total of 3 1kg cakes.
now i can finally account to my elder bro and mom why i keep borrowing from them. but still i cannot keep lending money from them.. pray for a job soon! but i'm also gonna start private school soon, hope i won't get so occupied, or perhaps it'll be for my own good. =/ at least i won't think so much i guess.

YES! YES! YES! i'm am so blessed! just checked the SEAB of MOE, registration for private o'lvls are still not too late. =)) but will be ending soon this may before the mid-year-exams from secondary schools. still can submit but i need to pay extra 50 bucks for late submission. plus each paper is not cheap, another 100 bucks for each piece. i need to get a job!

Finally i start opening the bible! lol. after 3 years of being a christian i'm finally reading it on my own. hahas. hmm. i hope its not a days passion, pray i'll be more and more devoted to really taking up my bible to read. =) must be obedient. hehes.


my life.
i guess finally i'm opening it up to readers after so much procrastinations. hahas. not that i didn't wanna share but, i just dunno where to start. it has always been a topic that makes me.. emotional.
time flies so fast. i have already fallen in love with uncountable girls and date 6 of them. sounds really flirt i know, but i don't think it'll be any better if i explained my innocence.. no one listens. =(
a week ago i chatted with someone i used to know when we were still in primary school.
she was one person i used to liked.. but now its a whole lot different matter. she have her life, i have mine.
she casually asked if i were attached and i said i wasn't. she didn't believed. told her i already had 5 failed relationships. she joked i was a playboy, how much i wanted to explain. =/ when i asked her the same question she told me she had no records. then she told me because she was obedient to her parents. then i finally understood. at that moment i really respected her. a simple obedience that prevented her from falling into a state like mine.
perhaps im really a playboy. perhaps i'm really not as 'chi qing' as i thought. i feel cold inside now. its the same feeling that always happen when i just couldn't cry.

So much things has changed.
Never really took a stand.
Always hopped on so easily into a passing wind,
getting into another envelop of misery.
but with each misery i always find true beauty within,
its just so pure. So, beautiful.
But at the highest peek i fall,
where my faith so brings me,
stumblingly i fall.
Onto the concrete, i face.

I recover with a missing heart.
The pain was never like the physical;
So sharp and impactful.
My pain was more of the opposite;
Slow. Yet it laments in wait.
My mind, always somewhere else.
Things just pass so meaninglessly.

Because of fears,
the truth is always buried,
kept in slumber whisper.
Bottling all sorrows in prayers,
with every sleepless nights.

Soon will the day come,
where distance was becoming too great.
no longer can that mile shorten,
no longer can fulfillments be sustained,
no longer can doves fly in pairs.
New trials surface with each doubt,
pillars fall in wakes of uncertainty.
Many things are a blur as time takes flight.

Questions always clouded my mind,
how often do doves think of the other pair?
which dove will try to mail to the other pair again?
when will doves learn to fly once more?
after much bird-talk i realise,
i'm no better at all.

many things are shared,
many issues are conveyed.
many emotions been spoken,
many feelings left in doubt.

i've already taken the step into freedom, yet i still remain behind, thinking i missed something. your messages was read, but to whom i'll never know. i do not know why i stayed behind, pehaps i still do. but for all possible reasons, i know one is certain. Simply that i still care the same, as always.

A new door appears in the fog. Its unclear in the distant mist, yet the glow still humbly shines. Chances are its another envelop waiting to be revealed, or maybe its just another mirage. i know if i take the step into the woods i'll be away from the clear blue skies. but if i don't i'll never find the flower beds that might be waiting in faith.

now i walk on the border, looking out for that clear skies to see the sunrise and catch the sunset. at the same time, i patiently walk at the border of the woods, anticipating to catch glimpse of the garden that i can walk up to. but i know i'll need to walk as slow as a tortoise, because i know i'll be defenseless if i rush, and i might even trip over if i walked too fast.
Whatever it is, i pray day by day to have patience to take a stroll in everything i do, for nothing has became good when i ran.

lol. type and type till it became so poem like. hahas. woah, 4:20am. and my arm's hurting again. =/ already checked with doctor and he gave me some pills to swallow and a ointment to rub. my elbow is slowly reforming back into its normal shape, however i'm still unable to bend or straighten to its usual potential. =(
oh wells, nights people. =P

Bitter as you might know,
i'm slow as a retard. =x

期待,

"林俊杰-期待你的爱
曲：林俊杰 词：林怡凤 许环良
专辑:>电视原声带
My Life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放 一份爱
Why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我 实实在在
不管帅不帅
想要找回来 自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢 大声说出来
期待 期待你发现我的爱
无所不在 我自然而然的关怀
你的存在 心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱
我猜 你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯 越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始 就是放手去爱
想要找回来 自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢 大声说出来
期待 期待你发现我的爱
无所不在 我自然而然的关怀
你的存在 心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱
我猜 你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯 越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始 就是放手去爱
幸福的开始 就是放手去爱

First dislocation.

Gosh!... i think this is first experience for this kind of thing.

Went out with my best buds and sis from primary school 3 days back. Usual thing we do is basketball and more basketball... then we would hang out somewhere for a bit longer before we all bala-kampong.


we played at madai tekong park, which is in wodlands around vista'point-causeway'point roadside. there's always a exercise/playground corner in a park, so we hanged around. i don't know why but i always see them so enthusiastic about playgrounds. there's this 6-seater-bike-like merry-go-round, and they would just hop on like kids. hahas. a little too small for them if you ask me. lol.

there were 8 of us, so left me and a friend. however she was taking picture, so i a bit left out. hahas. so i went to play out weird things in the park.

there's this "umbrella" thing that you grab and hang up in the air. the wheel is turnable but a bit tough to spin.

i jumped up and hanged there for a few good seconds. next thing i knewed, my pal joined in. at first was fun, i was already spinning and he ran and leap to grab onto the "umbrella" creating more momentum to the spin. but then he got off and started helping me spin the "umbrella". afterwards he gave enough force to make me fly. however i'm holding it with my hands, not buckle to it.

eventually i lose my grip and flew. by the time i was already going to fall on my back. i know that i'm suppose to land on my bum, however fear made me break half the fall with my left palm instead.

i roll up in pain holding up my left arm. my elbow dunno hurts like what. think i forgotten the level of the pain. hahas. but its was so much that my elbow contracted up like a machine and i didn't even dare to left go of my left fist. told my pal to help push my elbow down immediately. he was a bit in awe that i flew at first, but came over to help. soon after i got my elbow leaned onto my guts, i started to slowly recover from the excitement. Didn't payed any attention to the surroundings, i just kept finding positions for my elbow to ease the pain.

think i sat there for a long time trying to recover. as soon as i got to my feet i realised all my friends were around. was so surprised that they all came over. maybe its because the way i fought to ease the pain. hahas. a close friend of mine sat closes to me, she was the person i used to like in primary school. Was really glad she was still so open with me after 5 whole years.

afterwards i walked over to another side to lie on the see-saw and rest. as soon as i turned my head, i saw history repeating itself. this time my close friend was up there and my pal "playing support".

i shouted as soon as she started lifted off higher and higher. but then all sceams were in vain. she flew flat back on the ground. lucky she was braver than me to fall complete on the back with no hands. she might ended up worse than me if she did what i did. =(

she lay there over for some time. she's okay, just suffering in shock. hahas. its was really a blessing that she didn't hurt herself.
As a friend i will worry.

Just to make things clear-cut and un-gossip'able. i treat her as a close good friend. what was the past is already the past. no use bringing it up anymore. its no use putting me and her together because you and i know its not gonna happen. We're both from really different family background.
i'm saying so much because i really, really hate people gossiping about such things. i admit i'm really defensive but sorry i will always think about the other victims suffering under those gossips. Its really not nice to hear those things, what more from your own friend's mouth!
People its really something you really want to thing about when you talk about such things.
Especially you know yourself what's really going on. jokes are jokes but still
please do have limits. i can always forgive you guys but do you think others will? even if they don't voice out they'll still suffer under those embarrassments gossips create.
to me, gossip are no better than sin.
Please do ponder on this and stop ruining other people lives. =(
Sorry for my preachings. =P



Anyways now my arm not as burden as yesterday, can at least move my shoulder and fingers now. As for my elbow it still remains handicapped and cannot bend to the maximum. Just felt my arm and it awfully feels wrong. My elbow cap feels a bit off. =(

i fear of a dislocation.
i worry for a relocation. xP
hahas. lame me.

woah.. 4:04 am and i still got church later at 9.
really hope i can make it because i really want to pray in the church. i dunno why everything just quietens in the church,
your heart's storms just calms
and rest like a shore.

Perhaps its just me,
perhaps maybe
God wants me to listen
more than i talk.
hahas. x) amen to that.
Good nights people. =)