not again.

wah... sad la. end up still need to do form 32a again. i super wanna explode le. too bad i just don't show. =( went to do a checklist then to my horror to find out clement and yee tien's Founders application which they have already submitted was not complete.. still lack the proper signatures for the "Program badge(1-year-badge)" and 2 other more forms, "senior proficiency badge" & "Nco Star Award"..

craps. felt like a loser straight after enrollment, hais. somemore Founders application already closed, i don't know if i'm able to negotiate with the BBHQ or not. =/

i guess God wants me to learn a lesson about the importance of form 32a. i've never been so worried and freak out in my life la. o-levels was even a breeze compared to all those horros i've been through to get those forms replaced.

Went so low in spirits that i was the last to leave on BB side. i totally didn't feel like eating pizza hut with the officers and primers nor mac with the boys. i just wanted to spend my whole rest of the afternoon blasting my ears with music & thinking about nothing.

purposely missed the only bus outside Christ Church Sec 2 times. the 3rd time have to broad cause the GB was with me also waiting for the bus 901. Didn't want the GB girls to know i was being sad. lol. went to causeway to check the ticket for this coming monday. $6 for students before 6pm. that's cheap. =P


shock of the day: 3:15pm
hahas kena shocked after i got my information from the counter la, a man in a wheelchair asked me to help him up the steps to get into the cinema halls. i was totally like sotong like that. it was my first encount, hahas. willingly i went to help him. i was so damn 'Gong' la, i didn't help him push the wheelchair for him, instead i thought he was going to push it himself over to the steps first. lol.

i have little experience with handicaps, although i'm one myself now because of my arm. hahas. its recovering very slowly. =( but amazingly i didn't have to approach any surgery or twist back my arm or something. =x Anyways, i pushed him over to the foot of the steps, then i stunt there for a moment. i have no idea how am i going to get him up the steps. hahahas. xD plus i'm still having a weak left arm, =/

But thank God one of the personals saw the man, then he brought us round the back towards the storeroom than i can just push the wheel chair up a slope instead.

hahas then the person asked if i was watching the movie with him, told him i was just a passer-by helping him. lol. then i just turned back and left. Luckily i was wearing my cardigan over my BB full uniform, or else i think i would be an icon in the cinema then. hahas. went to take a bus home, but i was still feeling down. So end up sitting in the bus for a loop with a music in my ears. just so wanted to take a break from everything that moment... =(


frustrations of a quiet worker: 5:30pm-6:30pm
Anyways something interesting happened when i was traveling round in the bus. sorry readers but will not disclose the matter to you all. =P all i can tell you people is that, my mood is in a dilemma. I'm still worrying whether i'm going to cause Clement, Yee Tien and Eric not getting their founders cause of those missing form32a. =( Plus i don't know alot of things right now., how is it going to turn out or what. Everything is just so messy right now, i'm losing alot of my confidence already. Simply, i'm not ready. There's just too many stuff that has happened before that makes me fear of the next step i take. i don't know how the future is like for me. maybe i'm already thinking too much..hais..


the only happy/funny thing happened today: 9pm.
Got home to switch my laptop on and msn running, fell asleep instead. hahas. woke up to see the day turned into darkness already. lol. then slacked in front of my laptop till a friend called. hahas. chatted with her then my pal who lives next block came over to print some stuff. wahs, have to entertain 2 people at the same time.

End up i devoted my ears & mouth for my friend through the phone and my eyes and fingers for my pal by Msn, who was just right infront of me. hahas. xD End up i found out he just wanted to print his timetable from his poly website. wah.. i straight away narrow-eyes-screw-loose expression liao. told him he could just save in his laptop and refer from there what.. then my friend also become enthusiastic and started talking also, i said waste my ink then she added 'my a4 paper also'.

Then my pal started complaining about the inconvenience of not printing out while my friend who was on the phone start talking about shortage of trees resulting global warming. wahx.. i instantly faint. i can't even hear who's talking lol. somemore they both amazingly stop at the same time also. hahas. Made my day at least a bit happier. =)


present state: 3:48am.
i'm much more calmed now, thank God that Mr. eugene was not what i thought he would be. he was willing to help me sign the form 32a for the "Senior Proficiency Star". will be meeting him tml.. sad, tml movie was cancelled. was actually interested to watch 'Definitely, maybe'... oh well, might be going to watch "forbidden Kingdom" with my primary school pals instead. xD i so wanna watch it.

Still thinking alot about that issue which happened in the bus.. think i need time myself too. oh wells, we can always still stay as friends. =) i don't see a problem with that? opps, hahas. leak a bit le. nvm. that's all i'm going to say. xP

i'm also still praying that tml call to BBHQ will be a success.. i don't want to cause the 3 staff-sergeants not being able to get their Founders award... i'll rather sacrifice my chance of Presidents award just to let 3 of them have their Founders. =( hais.
Pray, pray, pray!
Good nights people. =))

i really want to ask my heart.
"how do you like someone?"